My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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