So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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