Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
oh god the rape fog is back!
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
