god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
