I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
