You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
