so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
