dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Enjoy the penises
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
