yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
