can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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