dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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