My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Umm I'm too high to move.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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