At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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