sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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