babies were throwing up all over the place
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
