No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
