Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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