At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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