carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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