Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
