Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
