Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
