I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
