Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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