we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
