My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
