She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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