im drinking this country out of the recession.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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