i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
