Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
