I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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