I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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