The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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