How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
