My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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