shes about as inviting as chlamydia
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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