at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
