dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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