coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
