So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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