I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
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i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
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And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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