WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
