Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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