My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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