i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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