we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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