sorry about calling you the devil all night.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
