Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
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Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
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I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
When are your genitals available?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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