you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
