I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't deserve a penis
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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