mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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