You just made me feel so damn special
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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