If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
